how are you? Fine? Great!
This is one of my first text about my thoughts hopes and dreams.
Firstly I want to tell you about ME.
My Name is Daniel Sack...I know not the best name, but who cares?
I live near Frankfurt (Germany) and I'm lucky with that.
I'm 19 years old. Too young to be free, too old to do anything without thinking what the result could
In my spare time I go cycling to free my mind of all the fucking thoughts which pull me down.
I also love my Laptop, which I use for playing shooter games(yap I'm a murderer ^^) listening music or just write some petty texts like this.
I still go to school and learn how to program a calculator or just a database...nothing big.
Secondly I try to tell you whats on my mind.
My soul...hmmmm fuck it. My morale is that I'm just getting older, bigger and important for me more lonelier than I ever was before! Not just the women getting more and more an more....distanced from me. Also my best friends are never by my side, when I need them.
So what to do? Look out for new friends? Why does I should?
Call more often my friends? Wouldn't help, or? Explain them my thoughts?
The most of my friends got a girlfriend or they are too busy to have talk with me.
The rest of them are outside and never reachable on their phone.
The questions, which opened in my mind are following:
Are these really good friends? Am I friend for them? FUCK IT!!!
One of the reasons I'm writing this shit is, that I'm worring about a friend. And I'm hoping to show her how worried I am about her. Since her ex friend cut their contact, she is up-side down. First she was shy, very emotional and locked in her own. After her last relationship she is large minded and is hanging around with strange guys in a disco. I mean she could start taking drugs! I know she since I am 6 years old. I don't want to loose her as a friend.
It's often called: “luck in game, unluck in love”
I don't know both of them. That is what it is! Nothing other, so my hopes are turning around every second and after every of this fucking second my heart is getting more an more heavier. That's an emotion I never wanted to have. Ok I ever wanted to be an outlaw, to be free but never a broken man in the beginning of his life! I never wanted to be ignored by the people around me. This friend which I wrote before wondered, that I wanted to close up with this world...finally...no in the End!
This feeling sounds like, ehm no. is exactly like a song from Metallica: The Unnamed Feeling!
My feelings are without a reason. They comes an go. Everything I ever wanted to be or to be like will never get true. What will I be in 10 years? A father? Never without a girlfriend. An alcoholic...this any chance to be SOMETHING! Or will will I stay single for the rest of my life?
I know, my worries are absurd. My thoughts are completely overrated and I'm no EMO!
I'm just thinking too much.
I just hope, the world won't move to fast
Last but not least:
I read a week ago on the button the letters:
“the home is, where your heart is.” what is, if u haven't got a heart?